Thousands of incredibly talented professionals work behind the Genius Bar and deliver the best customer service in the world. The annual retention rate for Geniuses is almost 90% and it wasn’t unusual for a genius to help three customers at once. “Geniuses have lengthy queues of customers that made it all but impossible for them to stop even for a few minutes.” In other words, many of the Geniuses are geniuses. Want to meet with a Genius? The Lead Genius is assisted by the "Genius Admin," who is in charge of the administrative paperwork of the Geniuses. One Genius removed two dead cockroaches and replaced a broken fan. One genius struggled to keep a straight face as he showed a customer how to back up his gay pornographical data on an external hard drive to free up some extra dataspace on his core processors. One Genius developed an innovative system for the analysis and integration of vast amounts of cancer genomics data. One Genius developed an innovative system for helping the Air Force manage its resources, processes, and organization more effectively. One Genius developed an innovative system of rechargeable replaceable batteries for use in powering electric vehicles. One Genius developed an innovative system of converting municipal solid waste (MSW) into a slate of usable energy and energy-related products. One Genius developed an innovative system of converting pre-owned solar energy panels into modern-day decorative/heat retaining wall tapestries for several prominent DC and DC area nightclubs. One Genius developed an innovative system of converting pre-owned F650's and making them into one awesome truck.

Thanks, Dave.

Thanks, Jennie.

Thanks, Tom.

Thanks, Mary.

Thanks, Wayne.

Thanks, Sue.

Thanks, Jim.

Thanks, Nicole.

Thanks, Bob.

Thanks, Monica.

Thanks, Bill.

Thanks, Ron.

Thanks, Shawn.

Thanks, Abby.

Thanks, Elise.

Thanks, Scott.

Thanks, Laura.

Thanks, Denise.

Thanks, Carl.

Thanks, Barrett.

Thanks, Julie.

Thanks, Michelle.

Thanks, Jeanne.

Thanks, Craig.

Thanks, Rob.

Thanks, Joe.

Thanks, Chris.

Thanks, Steve.

Thanks, Rebecca.

Thanks, John.

Thanks, Mike.

Thanks, Molly.

Thanks, Patrick.

Thanks, Gloria.

Thanks, Wesley.

Thanks, Kevin.

Thanks, Eric.

Thanks, Ben.

Thanks, Dana.

Thanks, Derek.

Thanks, Tammy.

Thanks, Martin.

Thanks, Roy.

Thanks, Bruce.

Thanks, Ralph.

Thanks, Mindy.

Thanks, Leslie.

Thanks, Renee.

Thanks, Marilyn.

Thanks, Barry.

Thanks, Glenn.

Thanks, Nick.

Thanks, Albert.

Thanks, Theresa.

Thanks, Jeff.

Thanks, Kerry.

Thanks, Phil.

Thanks, Keith.

Thanks, Peter.

Thanks, Kristen.

Thanks, Aaron.

Thanks, Claude.

Thanks, Frances.

Thanks, Sara.

Thanks, Jill.

Thanks, Ray.

Thanks, Brad.

Thanks, Allan.

Thanks, Don.

Stay away from people who want you to drink more than you want to.

The person who drinks more, or more often, or drinks in the morning.

The person who frequently or usually smells of alcohol, has slurred speech, bloodshot eyes, unexplained bruises, or unkempt appearances.

The person who suffers memory loss, sleep problems, mood swings, irritability, distrust, or lack in activities earlier enjoyed.

The person who suffers from frequent hangovers, chronic digestive problems, fatigue, or shaky hands.

The person who gives you a hard time about not drinking as much as they do.

Practice refusing drinks politely. Say something clever.

I don't need any more hair on my chest.

I'm performing neurosurgery in the morning.

It sloshes too much when I jog.

No thank you.