Hey animal-boy!
We understand your herdship
And we think we can help,
With new Proclub Cattle-plauge.

Face it,
You're in-college now,
Theres a lot to straddle.
Why struggle

Toward a stabulist existence!
Experienced, then, what? Is
Well enough for other offers,
Who have never traversed the night
Sky on a hornbeam!

Proclub Cattle-plague:
Coordinates your hormones
From your dormroom
While you wait!