After years of unchecked criticism regarding its essence, Proclub now seems poised to meet critics head on with its new promotional campaign "Proclub: Real." The unveiling ceremony is set for tonight and will reportedly include a lavish seafood banquet and swanky reception in Las Vegas as well as a series of "RealClub Guerilla DIY Partytime" events hosted by hundreds of supporters throughout the countryside. A spokesman for Proclub, speaking on the condition of anonymity due to the highly secret nature of the new program, said that Proclub: Real would breathe new life into the once-innovative group that has seen its stock prices gradually decline over the last decade. "We understand that some people, people who have been part of Proclub for generations, have, for some time, been asking very fair questions about Proclub's leadership and existence. We think [proclub: Real] will remind people why Proclub remains and will remain an important part of their spiritual landscape." While details are still sketchy, the new campaign would purportedly allow users to trade their MyProdomFreeClub SuperDutyRewardsPoints for RealPoints that in turn can be saved toward ProMiles which, supposedly, can be redeemed/invested in for ValueTickets. This should be good news to all the people who saved points during the war only to see them lose value rapidly after the reintroduction of currency into the global market. The new program is also said to offer amnesty to the so-called "Pointspiders." It was regarding these individauls, most of them college students, that the Supreme Court handed down their now legendary "Points are people" decision that effectively ended the open sharing and duplication so rampant within the now defunct "Partypoints" system. Sources indicate that the Guerilla Gatherings alone are revolutionary for a club that categorically does not exist. "Proclub/Real will lay out Proclub's vision for the future while increasing its relevance by its participation in reality." Well, this journalist fucking doubts it.